


Blaise and Ron Go To The Ball

by 42069, cloudeater (anxiousgoat), Crackfic_Crookshanks (Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks), wheelsmcgraw



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/42069/pseuds/42069, https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgoat/pseuds/cloudeater, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks/pseuds/Crackfic_Crookshanks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheelsmcgraw/pseuds/wheelsmcgraw
Summary: Ron saves Blaise from a boggart, starting a slightly disgusting love affair and ending with a ball and some interesting outfits.
Relationships: Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	Blaise and Ron Go To The Ball

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Blaise Zabini shook as the boggart transformed into their biggest fear. They couldn't believe that the entire class was going to know what they were scared of. They felt their knees knocking as a small lipstick appeared in front of them. 

Suddenly, Ron leaped in front of Blaise, who clapped their hand to their mouth in shock and gratitude. The boggart had turned into an enormous spider but Ron wasn't even looking. Instead, he took the half-eaten whole chicken out of his mouth and offered it to Blaise. 

"Here. I always find a nice snack calms me down a bit." Blaise gazed at him. Why was Ron helping them? The truth was Ron had always had a soft spot for Blaise. Offering up the chicken just... felt right. He didn't even need to banish the boggart. Expressing his love would be easier than "riddikulus!". He only had to step up to Blaise and say everything he was feeling in his heart... 

'Blaise,' Ron spoke in a soft, yet confident, voice. 'I-' Malfoy blew a raspberry at him from the back of the class and suddenly Ron lost his nerve. 

'Um, Blaise I think you're really hot and we should like hang out sometime.' 

Blaise raised their eyebrows "What's that Weasley? Speak up, I can't make you out through all that half masticated chicken." Blaise replied. All this talk of mastication was making Ron hot under the collar, though he wasn't really sure what it meant. 

"Will you be my date to the Yule Ball? Please?" he implored.

Blaise blushed. "Do you really mean that, Weasley?" they said. Ron rolled his eyes. 

"Obviously," he said, swallowing the entire chicken in the deep throes of his emotion. "I want to go to the Yule Ball with you - as lovers." 

Blase looked lovingly up at Ron and reached into his mouth, down his oesophagus and pulled out what was remaining of the whole chicken, still freshly dripping with Ron’s saliva, and licked it. Delicately engraved into the bone were the words “would you fuck me then go with me to the Yule ball?” 

Blaise looked at Ron, eyes filled with tears, and she licked the inside of his cheek. He did the same for her. They were in love. Nothing could ever separate them. 

It was the night of the Yule Ball and Blaise had dressed in their best robes, they were bright blue with glitter all over them. They were wearing blue sparkly converse (a muggle shoe their mum didn't approve of) and they'd learnt to apply matching blue eyeliner for the occasion. 

As Ron walked up to them Blaise grinned in shock, he was wearing absolutely nothing except a sock in a strategic position. 

"You look great, Weasley," said Blaise. Ron's entire body turned pink. 

"Thanks," he mumbled and produced a sandwich from... somewhere. "You look even better! Want a pre-Ball snack?" 

"Oh wow, thanks!" Blaise stuffed the entire sandwich into their mouth. Dating Ron Weasley really was... delicious. 

"Right," they said after they'd swallowed the sausage sandwich into their mouth. "Shall we go in?" Ron walked into the Yule Ball, hand in hand with his newly-made-lover Blaise, wearing nothing but a sock over his erect penis. Blaise was clad in nipple pasties and a crotchless thong. The whole great hall gasped as the beautiful, glowing, perfect couple walked in.

Ron wore a look of post-coital triumph. "Behold our love, for it is pure!" He explained to the gathered masses in the Great Hall. And with that, he removed the sock, and the Wizarding World was changed forever.


End file.
